Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Domestic Abuse Statistics Sobering

Statistics regarding domestic abuse in New York show that the "least safe place for a woman... is her own home." With "44 percent" of them killed by a partner. If you are being abused, or are ready to leave an abusive relationship, contact an abuse helpline service or your local police before you do anything to ensure your own safety and the safety of the rest of your family.

And when you are ready to legally separate from the union, contact me for help at (401) 942-3100 or use the contact form HERE for more information.

I'm Establishing a Non-Profit to Offer Divorce Help to Abused Women
Jeff Landers

A few weeks ago, I ran across a truly jarring statistic, and I still can’t shake it from my thoughts.

Data collected by the New York State Division of Criminal Justice shows that, for the second year in a row, 44 percent of all women killed in New York were killed by an intimate partner.

As State Division of Criminal Justice Services acting commissioner Sean Byrne pointed out to WCBS, “That means the least safe place for a woman in New York State is her own home.”

Unfortunately, I’ve seen firsthand just how true this statement is. Over the years, I’ve been retained by quite a few women who, at the time, were in physically and/or mentally abusive relationships.

We all know that even under the best of circumstances, divorce is complicated and emotionally trying. For these women, though, the process is exponentially harder. Typically, they know very little about their family finances because controlling husbands are extremely secretive about financial matters. And, of course, women in abusive relationships live under the very real threat of physical violence if their husbands get angry and/or suspicious.

Many are simply frozen with fear. They’re terrified about their own safety and the safety of their children.

It’s something I’ve seen far too many times, and I’ve decided I’m going to do what I can to help. Currently, I am in the process of establishing a non-profit charity that will help abused women get the legal and financial advice they need to divorce their spouse.

After all, physical abuse is usually associated with what Jeffrey A. Friedman, Executive Director of The Retreat, calls “financial abuse.”

The Retreat, which is located in The Hamptons on Long Island, NY, is an organization that works to break the cycle of family violence while also providing safety, shelter and support for domestic abuse victims. As Jeff sees it, the correlation between physical and financial abuse is strong and can lead to long-term debilitating consequences.

“Domestic Violence is all about power and control,” he told me. “More often than not an abuser can control a victim by controlling the finances in the household. Money is the means that they can ensure financial dependence. Financial abuse can mean: preventing you from getting or keeping a job, having you to account for every penny spent, denying access to check book/account/finances, threatening to force you out of the house and make you homeless and demanding your paychecks. Financial abuse can have serious and long term effects. Victims can become trapped in a cycle of poverty, can experience unhealthy physical and psychological effects and feel hopeless and trapped in the abusive environment.”

Continued HERE

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If you have questions about this posting or are interested in Divorce, Immigration, or Estate Law in RI or MA contact Massachusetts and Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Rui P. Alves at 401-942-3100 or CONTACT him via email.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Child Custody Case Results

FACTS:

A Massachusetts mother who leaves the state for another part of the country, taking along the children in the middle of the night without any notice to father. Attorney Alves obtained an Emergency Order returning the children to the father, and assisted the father in hiring another attorney, elsewhere in the United States, to enforce the order.

DECISION:

The Judge ordered the children returned to Massachusetts even though the mother is still in another other part of country.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Revenge in Divorce: Is it worth it?

You caught your spouse with someone else, and now you’re going to make them pay. Your spouse left you and the children, and now you want revenge.

Divorce is already one of the most stressful things that a family can go through. Adding your anger and possibly violence to the mix is not the solution. It is completely understandable to be upset and very angry even when a marriage does not make it. But letting that hurt turn into aggression or any kind of violence will compound the problem and bring even more sorrow to your family, as well as yourself.

In addition to the emotional aspects of carrying your anger through your divorce, there is a very real financial burden and time delay that will occur if you plan to be disagreeable throughout the process of your divorce.

Clients need to ask themselves what their ultimate goal is in obtaining the divorce, what kind of relationship they want to have with their ex-spouse (if any at all), what assets they want to claim or keep, and most importantly – if there are children involved, to what degree are parties willing to go to achieve their ends.

Rui Alves is the kind of divorce attorney who can help you sort out your differences within the boundaries of the family law system. Clients often are so enraged or emotional during the divorce process that they forget that having a vendetta out against their soon to be ex will only prolong the process, cost more money, and do more emotional damage to the entire family.

Additionally, if you are seeking a divorce on the grounds of your being angry over a single incident, you need to evaluate the situation and ask yourself if it is the best course of action for your circumstances. Anger will only cloud your judgment and cause you to do and say things that you will regret later.

If you need help with marital issues, or are ready to move forward with the next step and start the divorce process, call Mr. Alves at (401) 942-3100 or use the contact form HERE for more information.